Aloha!

I’m looking forward to a memorable experience!

Every section of this note is important, so please take the time to go over it now, or ASAP.

PACKING LIST:

✅ 2.5 Liters of water per person

✅ Fully charged cell phone on low-power mode, aux battery pack, charging cable.

✅ Photo props in a waterproof bag if you please. The landscape photos are massive, and sometimes it’s hard to notice you in all the splendor! Anything with bright colors will help you ✨pop✨ in the photos. Suggestions: a photogenic pineapple packed gently to preserve its top, a Hawaiian lei, white booty shorts, a brightly colored top, high heels, wedding/ball dress, flowing silks, the living room couch, etc. The wind is powerful up there and will make tops billow out, so I suggest you wear comfortable form-fitting materials or something that looks good with a knot at the waist or tucked in.

✅ any daily medications to last you for 24 hours (in the event of emergency)

✅ Weather resistant headphones

✅ Sunglasses and case

✅ Extra set of contact lenses with small bit of contact solution. Glasses are not recommended because of rain drops. ☔️

✅ Shoes with aggressive tread.

If you’re going to buy a pair, I recommend the Inov8 Mud Claw for $130 at Runners HI in Aiea or Waipahu. Call ahead for your size because they sell out. Mention my name for 10% off.

✅ Discretely colored protection from scrapes and mosquitoes in the valley. My favorite are long sleeve and long-pant grey tights.

✅ If you wish to buy mosquito spray, please ensure it is DEET-free.

✅ Eye covering could save you from a twig-poke, and polarized sunglasses can dramatically enhance the color available to your eyes throughout the experience.

✅ Underwear and pants should be very breathable, and 4-way stretch or lose fitting to accommodate the high-knee raises, which can chafe, push, pull and squish. Long stiff blue jeans could be the worst idea.

✅ WARM long-sleeve layer and optional windbreaker for the summit (any colors). It can be VERY COLD at the top. It seems like every hike there is someone from Wisconsin or Canada who explains to me they are used to the cold… until they get to the top and realize Hawaii can actually be FREEZING!

✅ Backpack should have good lumbar support. Lumbar support is particularly important for this journey because you will raise your arms each step to hold the rail. If the weight of the bag is on your shoulders, you will lift the bag once for each step with your arms. That is 4,000 lifts. I recommend no more than 20% of the bags weight should rest on the shoulder straps and 80% on the hip support. My bag has an inch of air between the top of my shoulders and the strap, with almost 100% of the weight on my hips.

✅ NO REFLECTIVE STRIPS PLEASE, unless you wish to be a target. Reflective lettering, logos, and stripes are often discrete in the fabric of clothing, socks, shoes, headlamp bands, backpacks, etc, until a faint flashlight makes it pop!

✅ Headlamp - almost anything is fine. One with red and white light is nice.

✅ Gloves are optional, but recommended. Gloves with a silicone or cloth gripping surface are NOT EFFECTIVE except in very dry conditions. Synthetic mechanics gloves or vegan leather are best and more cooperative than using someone else’s skin (genuine leather).

✅ This is BYOB, so pack your favorite beer, wine, vodka, or methamphetamines. Kidding about the meth. Please do not bring illegal drugs of any kind, except weed.

✅ An awesome attitude for the cold, windy hike to the most glorious feeling of your life! The biggest reward for me is how this experience enhances your life.

GAME PLAN:

24 HOURS BEFORE OUR MEETING:

Drink lots of water and eat lots of bananas and healthy stuff. Skip the alcohol, and get lots of sleep 😴

MEETING PLACE

The meeting place is near the Windward Mall in Kaneohe. I will update you the evening before with an exact location. There will be safe parking for your vehicle. When you arrive, please DO NOT point at the mountain, take pictures of the mountain, talk with others about it, walk around with your backpack on, congregate as a group or give contact info to anyone - including your Uber driver. If anyone asks, you can tell them we are just a group of friends going to pick up trash in the valley (because we actually are).

TIMELINE:

I will choose our start time the evening before, and share that time with you no later than 9:30pm. Our start time could be in the middle of the night, early morning, late morning, midday or afternoon, and is based on many factors which we can discuss off-line if you please.

At the chosen time, we will…

Meet, shop, use the restroom - 1 hour

Approach the base - 1 hour

Climb - 2 hours

Photos - as long as you like

Decend - 2 hours

Exit the valley - 1 hour

Please leave the entire day open so we have no restrictions and can enjoy going with the flow 🌴⛰🌈

NOTE TO SCUBA DIVERS: skip your dives the day before our adventure. The hike elevation is 2,800 ft and could trigger decompression sickness.

PHOTOS:

I recommend a most epic photoshoot of all time. I coach posture, expression and shoot from angles which change the game. The photoshoot is extra and takes about 30 minutes each.

You can bring a drone and fancy gear - remember appropriate rain protection.

INSURANCE:

There is none. The anchoring and handrails give me the educated impression that the stairs are easily the safest mountian-top trail on Oahu. That said, going with a guide is NOT guaranteed to increase your safety — but I will be the best I can be to you! I can help you understand how I do my walking, but it is up to you to put your feet, one after another, in the place where you walk.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW:

❓allergies, seizures, heart conditions, asthma, panic attacks, anything else I should know.

❓gripping fear of heights

❓*exceptional* difficulty seeing in dim light. (Everyone sees that but I don’t)

❓Do you, or anyone in your party, hope to have ALL members of the group participate in ‘the hiding kink’ during our adventure?

(For rare souls who are blissfully unaware of ‘the hiding kink’: it is a mainstream role play where everyone in sight remains hidden from each other using fibers made into cloth, commonly refered to as ‘clothing’. The deprivation of natural information about one’s own species drives humanity up a wall with curiosity and allows for a variety of power games between persons. There is no safe word for this game. In fact, in most parts of the world, if you choose NOT to participate in the costume festival your friends may summon friends with guns to force your body to remain in jail and wear a very strange costume as part of the consequences. On the mountain, however, we expect no such structure, but are still sensitive to the needs of each person. If anyone feels strongly about decency, I will make an anonymous announcement on their behalf to the group. If you do not hear such an announcement, you may safely assume that enjoying yourself is at least tolerated, if not encouraged, but only AFTER you are beyond the first steep section, and out of sight of the school right at the base of the stairs.)

SOCIAL MEDIA:

I welcome shout outs for #theMattKievlanExperience. If you are willing, I genuinely desire that you speak from a position of personality reference — how my presence enhanced the experience, rather than associating the magic to any ‘particular location’.

DAY AFTER:

Plan for a beach day after the hike. I don’t recommend scheduling any commitments because you will probably feel like chilling. Vacation is all about doing what you ✨ feel ✨ like doing!

Ask me where I plan to get my recovery food and that well-deserved rest! I might have some good recommendations for you.

I’m looking forward to making the memory of this! See you out there! …and bring a friend! 👣